The Quiet Pee
We have company over tonight - some of my roommates family members. It's midnight, everyone's in bed...except me of course. So the house is quiet and I have to pee. The closest restroom is in the hallway right outside the bedroom door where our guests are staying. So me, in my infinite wisdom, decide that I'll just go ahead and use the bathroom and pee quietly.
How do you pee quietly? I mean really - is that possible? And even if it were possible, wouldn't the most silent of urinations be over shadowed by the sound of the flushing toilet?
My mind remains a mystery...but at least I don't have to pee any more.
What The Future Holds
So many thoughts... so little organization.
Okay, so I'm the first to admit that I've been nothing short of a lazy slug when it comes to blogging. (For that matter, are there truly any slugs that aren't lazy?) But it's one of those nights where I just feel like thinking out loud.
For anyone that has read any of my brief blogages (yes, new word... please jot down in your notes).. you realize that leaving the comforts of home and going to the work place 50 hours a week is not exactly my favorite thing to do. Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining. I work for a great company, have a pretty cool job, and make a decent salary. For those things I am extremely grateful and blessed. However, should Ed McMahon come knocking on my door with that million dollar check, I would invite him in... offer him a Fresca, then proceed to quit my day job.
Since the odds of that are not quite in my favor (although the Fresca is alive and well in the fridge!) that forces me to look at other avenues. My family, my friends...heck even my dogs (and they're opinionated as hell) think that I should be doing something creative - drawing, writing, designing.. anything. To me, it's always been a dream but never a viable reality. I mean, seriously, what am I gonna do. I'm not strong enough in the cartoon aspect to even consider that a possibility. That's just for fun. I'm okay at webdesign, but that's one of those things where there are so many people out there that do it so much better. But... this one does have some small merit, as I am able to swing freelance jobs here and there... but being able to depend on that month after month? I think I'd be a nervous wreck. Hmm...so where does that leave me?
Maybe I could become a hurricane hunter. Oh no, wait.. the hurricanes hunt me... I am the hurricane hunted. Scratch that one.
Professional poker player? Been hooked on http://www.pokerstars.com but after a few money tournaments I am up to a whopping $20 profit and scared to lose it... so I quit playing for real money and went back to play money. Muwahahaha... a real risk taker I am! Fear me!
Perhaps the nice people at Microsoft would like to hire me to test all the new online xbox games? Although... I have been known to get spanked by some foul mouthed 13 years olds online, so I may not be the best candidate for that job. Besides, I would end up just telling them all that they are adopted and unloved, so I'd be fired quite quickly.
Well, guess that puts me back to the 'drawing' board..which is really what started this conversation in the first place... Guess I'll have to keep looking for that million dollar idea.
Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you all - the charge for reading this post is $99.99 per minute. Please ensure that you accurately calculate your time and remit payment before closing this window.
